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Student in Paresky Slips on Banana Peel, Anvil Falls on Head
The box had a label that said ‘TNT,’ and I didn’t see any other labels on it,” explained Wellbutrin. “The tape had ripped off a bit, so I fi
Shayna Podhoretz
May 6, 2024


bbno$, Y2K, Yung Gravy to Enroll at Williams This Fall
Spring fling proved a success for all: students had a blast, CSS reported an unexpectedly low number of incidents, and prospective...
Amita Khurana
Apr 29, 2024

Dedication: Men Carry Large Wooden Table Over Mountain, Through Stream To Play Extra Picturesque Game Of Pong
The time: 2:25pm. The place: Hoxsey Street. The tunes: Metro Boomin. Three friends, Ryan Smith, Jack Grant, and Nico Place, all ‘24, woke...
Jackson Small and Shreya Seshadri
Apr 19, 2024


Faculty To Vote On Eliminating Letter Grades For First-Years, Placing Looks Rating Out Of Ten On Transcript
With a rising emphasis on mental health, students proposed the elimination of first-year grades to ease the transition into life at...
Shayna Julianne and Amita Khurana
Apr 17, 2024

Report: College To Sabotage Previews Programming In Hopes Of Preventing 2028 Over Enrollment
A leaked series of emails between the Admissions Office and College President Maud S. Mandel revealed startling developments that the...
Shreya Seshadri
Apr 14, 2024

Field Trip! Computer Science Professor Takes Class To WCMA For Some Reason
This week, CSCI 368: Foundations of Principles of the Principles of Computer Programming took one lecture session out of their week to...
Lizzie High
Apr 8, 2024

Report: Girl With Armpit Hair Is Cooler Than You
You, yes, you. You, with your little shrimp slump from the weight of the five course packets (unread) in your backpack. You, with your...
Rebecca Call
Mar 14, 2024


Report: Friend With Paper Due This Week Will Somehow Make It Your Problem
Sunday brunch, Mission Park, 12:10 PM. In front of a plate of cold eggs and potatoes, Jack Maggle ‘25 lowers his head to his hands. “Fuck...
Lizzie High
Feb 19, 2024


Ask The Haybale: What Smooth Moves Can I Pull Today To Score A Date By Tonight?
It's that time of year when love is in the air, and I know what you are thinking. How am I going to win over that special someone? How...
Claire Tolliver
Feb 13, 2024

Concerning: Williams Ski Patrollers To Earn Commission For Each Rescue In The Upcoming Ski Season
In a surprising turn of events, the Williams College ski patrollers will earn commission for each on-mountain injury they respond to....
Lizzie High
Dec 11, 2023
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